Sweat it out / Shiver it up: Emotional Thermoregulation in a Life of Extremes

Moments of clarity always seem to come with a perspective shift. This is nothing new. There's something therapeutic to constantly messing up my body clock and traipsing through old haunts while forging new memories. And new memories are certainly in order.

This trip back to my place of origin is covered in reminders of the brevity and fragility of life. It's interesting to see how the individual characters perceive and react to these realisations. Ultimately, I guess we all just scramble harder to be our 'real' selves. Sometimes for better, sometimes....well I don't really know.

Presently, I'm camped out on the 7th floor of an office building in the Chelsea district of Manhattan NYC. My makeshift hotel room is an unused office of my high school best friend's current workplace. You can never predict these things. They just happen. I have no idea what I'll get into tomorrow but I'm sure it will be at least decently random (and very cold).

Pardon my lack of organizational strategy but really you can blame that ugly monster the 'time crunch' (and my incessant need for sleep on a dailyish basis). What follows is random tidbits from my journal that I've had with me these past two weeks as I've hopped a few time zones, reconnected with old friends, made some new ones and been forced to do things like "relax".

Dec 3rd on the plane to take off:

Funny how the excitement of airports is tinged with an odd sense of familiarity by this point. For the first time since I lived in GA, I actually feel like I'm a visitor to these destinations ahead. I have a place to call home. A place I'm excited to go back to, people who will miss me but know I'm coming back. That's a new feeling for me.

On staying in a resort (for free) in Fiji for 2 days and 1 night:

It's very peculiar for me to stay in a large, posh, corporate hotel/resort. While the comforts and amenities are enjoyable, I can't shake the obvious sense of distance between myself as a guest and the people I will be interacting with over these two days. I wonder what it's like where they live. What do they think of this place? Do they like their bosses? What must they think of the tourists? What do they do when they get a holiday? How do they stand listening to these horrible Christmas songs for a month straight, especially while it's 32 degrees Celsius and 95% humidity?!

Artwork by Krystal Campbell 

This hotel complex is an odd slice of life. Obviously trying hard to strive for the cookie cutter corporate ideal, leveraging the "bulla smile" and typical tropical trappings to their fullest extent. Yet, the mushrooms, birds, toads and geckos all proudly remind me of the underlying untamed sense of this place. The afternoon storms don't care if you're only in for one day or you've lived here your whole life. The cheesy Christmas music on repeat adds an extra layer of touristiness to the experience. And yes, the birds will stare you down in an attempt to intimidate you out of your breakfast. This is their house and yes they like pancakes. Give them some pancakes or they will poop in your cereal!

For now, that's all I got.

(My pictures to be added later once I can download them)

Home is Where Your Heart Beats Best

As of late, I've been further pondering the meaning, purpose, place and work involved with this concept of 'home'. Being an alien in a land that you love like an old friend, it grates on me to constantly have to justify and explain my existence here. "Where are you from?", a constantly fielded question. And I know nobody means any harm by it but it is not a simple answer for me. I come from a place that does not physically exist anymore, as really we all do. The exact geographical location of my early years can be pinned down to the greater DC area but it was really despite the culture I came to consciousness in not because of it that I am the way I am. Why don't we define ourselves by the place we choose to be presently, rather than the place we just happen to come from?

So what is home? Home is where you choose to be, wherever accepts you for all of you, where life is just challenging enough to afford you opportunities to grow but provide enough comfort to catch you when you fall. Sometimes the exploratory process can be scary but by looking, listening, and thinking "What is life really like here?" everyone can truly connect with the world. Home might be the place of your childhood, or somewhere vastly different. How can you know unless you truly think about it? It is suggested that you 'shop around' for big decisions such as purchasing a car or choosing a mate, why not the community in which you reside and contribute? We cling to similarities sometimes when we should be exploring our fantastic differences. How do you learn and grow by only asking questions which you already know the answer to? The best way to learn your way around is to take time to get lost for a little while, say "Yes!" to the unknown, look down a few dark alleys every now and then. The only barriers that exist are those we buy into. I think we should make the time in life to apply this concept to our definition of home. The world is too big and wonderful a place to just settle for what's handed to you.

So to all the past and future probers of the question,"Where is home?"I say, "I am here now! Happily, contently, serenely here now. And for the first time ever in my adult life, I have no plans to go anywhere else anytime soon*." That's why I think I am home.

(*I will keep traveling at every possible opportunity but now I will have a place to be excited to return back to time and again.)

This is RP, Now meet BV, The Rest is History

Photo thanks to Luke... I think?

You'd probably never give this odd array of rowdy cats a second glance on the street or train, but add a mic and a stage and its a whole different story. The room might be barely filled but this night in Newcastle is nothing but love. Heads bobbing to a situational soundtrack thats aphrodisiac, education, auditory safety blanket, and all friendship. Kids of all ages desperately seeking flow in a disjointed daily grind unsatiated but awash of hustle with little to no thrills. These are songs to walk across a landscape to, help you through the proverbial dust storms, help you not just look but see those around you for all their bizarre beauty. This is not product to fill a background, something to be consumed sitting down. This is art in motion, pulses of life, all bigger than them who create, them who ingest, that which goes on in between. This is trial and error of talent, balls, and passion boiled down over the last decade in living rooms and late night pubs to create this collective of unique sounds and ideas. These are friends that blur the definition of family and rarely fit into exactly one genre neatly.

Initiation came four years ago upon waking up in a strange bedroom, safe and warm to the sound of some interesting bedroom rap introduced by none other Jake and Elwood Blues. It was just supposed to be another night of hectic music, a few pints, then back to Manly to pass out at daybreak with the ghosts and bandicoots as usual. But plans dissolve and next thing you know you're tragically hungover but accidentally cracked the code of this grossly commercial city. You've found the den of culture; fresh with overspray, surrounded by saxophones and MPCs, and smelling downright funky. You're not going to find beats and rhymes that make your heart expand at Circular Quay. You can't find friends that don't mind if you have a cry in their garden at a hostel bar. The best parts of Sydney aren't for sale, they can only be found down proverbial back allies at the end of that night you've given up on. That's where I started meeting the colorful cast of this Big Village family.

Photo thanks to Kevin..I mean Damon. 

So fast forward to last weekend and I'm chilling in the impromptu artspace that is the roof in beautiful Sydney sun catching up and tossing the footy. It is obvious that the projected departure time was nothing but a nice idea but, after all, this crew IS the show so soundcheck happens when it happens. Shoes optional but step lightly on account of the shards of glass, rusty bottle caps, and watch out for the soft spots. All in good fun, take another sip of luke cold beer and take in a nice long mental picture. Just remember to bring the CDs this time. It's always better when you can actually sell your music.

If I had to summarize the following 48 hours it would have to be something like: boxes, beer, scroot! scroot!...yes scroot (can't really explain), 'another pee break!', soundcheck, hype, 'No you cannot take that hoodie, please give it back', footy in the street, back on road, sleep, wake up, coffee, do it again but this time without sleeping and add one really yummy steak and substitute some penis jokes for a debate on the validity of reality. Next thing I know, Sunday afternoon came way too soon. The mad dash to the airport took about 5 hours including a stop off to randomly visit somebody's kid but I was on the flight as planned, oddly conflicted about what just happened. It was the perfect finale to the past three weeks but why do I always get a little choked up when parting ways with this side of Sydney?

This is the real life embodiment of one of the facets of this illusive Oz that keep me chipping away at the immigration bullshit in order to etch out a home in this gorgeous but unforgiving land. When I throw caution to the wind and find myself facing homeless nights, foodless weekends, or just nocked down by failure I've always been shown a hand by Mute, Smurf, or Billie to name a few. I can't name too many other artists on my ipod that I can say that about.

Photo thanks to Damon

At this point I feel like the music gives more than it gets but as they keep getting more and more Triple J love and touring like crazy, I can see this train gaining some steam. It all goes to show you what can happen when you're nice to everybody, even some seemingly crazy, sloshed dude at a show who tries to bum a cigarette off you then proceeds to tell you he's a rapper.

Thanks a ton to the BV family for an awesome weekend and making great music, art, and energy to keep it all in beautiful perspective :)

*Check out the tunes and videos in the Big Village link to the right of this post.*