Here We Go Again

As my little silver blue space ship moseyed past Sunset, Mullholland, and a few miles of serenely vacant beach breaks, it knows what's in store for us. Back to the scene of the last time. A fresh batch of plastic minds just waiting to be amazed, well at least amused for the week, beautiful places, crazy wildlife, and even crazier people. Its not just about playing with some snakes and sharing an abstract emotional connection to this concept of nature with the privileged youth of California. The true teaching moments come from sharing the value of things past money, grades, possessions, black & white, right & wrong. None of us are exactly where we want to be, but the real steps to changing that are rooted in redefining what want means. The coyotes, creosote, cold nights, and kick-ass climbing cracks are all on my side in this venture.
Friday a smiling faced young man with a face full of prison tat letters asked me for a light upon arrival into LA. I regretfully couldn't help him out. He then asked me if I was homeless, in that wording 'homeless', probably because I had backpack. I can't lie, I had to say yes technically. He offered condolences to me for my situation. I assured him it was a choice and not a bad one, that at the end of most days I'm very contented. He looked at me quizzically then shared that he had just been released from county lockup and been to see his lady. They were going to get a place together and his cards were all falling into place. He was the ray of sunshine in that dreary day, jet lagged and weary from the fast life of the previous days.
There are happy people wanting to share everywhere. That's why I do this, why the shoestring budget can feel like the good life most days, why sleep deprived, flea bitten and mad hungry I can still smile ten times harder than I ever could back in high school. That's what this industry is about for me. Teaching ecology is about life and that cannot be sectioned into nice little chapters. Its now, then, what's around the corner. And we only know a fraction of those answers..so lets get to digging.

Men are from Mars and Women...are still expected to make dinner

So lately, as in the past few months, the concept of sexuality, sensuality, and intimate interpersonal connections have been rolling around my mind. This is nothing new, society has been in a revolving dialogue to define the feminine ideal. Many pre-Judea-Christian cultures were matriarchal and/or matrilineal. They knew women held the key to happy, healthy progeny. Over time (and this isn't a sociology blog so I don't really feel like getting into the details) society has dis-empowered and somewhat re-established women's role in society as well as family and community. Mine is that of the generation that grew up watching Sex and the City, Friends, Beverly Hills 90210, and Dawson's Creek. We were bombarded with pop-culture telling us that its just normal for teenagers to sleep around and friends always eventually end up in bed at least once. Now there are movies, t.v shows, books, you name it grappling with the emotional void that flash in the pan sexual contacts can leave. When we can hardly sit around a table and just talk to friends, how are we supposed to nurture and develop deep lasting romantic connections? I'm an observer in all this realm. Its easier that way. But in these gypsy wanderings a lady comes across handfuls of temptation and excitement. How can I know what's going to be fun now vs. ultimately rewarding in the long term? I can't, nobody really can. But I know the road is no way to foster significant connections and one can only cover a gaping flesh wound with band-aids for so long. Superglue works much better.

"What the hell is she talking about?" you are saying at this point. So here's what it boils down to. We are considered in the 'third wave' of feminism and its all about having the choice to bare our bodies, bang like dudes, go for any job we want, bring home the bacon and cook it up...or not if we don't want to. Its about choice. And while we certainly don't like to be told that we all must be some new version of delicate English roses, what do we really stand to gain by treating our sexuality as a commodity. The feminine essence is something that should be valued, nurtured, explored, and never taken for granted. So I'm attempting to take a bit of a hiatus from any external pressures in this area. I don't look at it as 'giving up' a class of activities, more so just focusing intently on beauty and value that surrounds us amidst the cacophony of supposed gender (but really individual) miscommunications.

This past weekend, well 5 days actually, I spent chasing music around 3 cities over two different states. In this madness I had an, albeit very weak, offer to momentarily enjoy a close proximity to one of my favorite recording artist for the past few years. Despite my blood being far from alcohol free and the setting a picturesque sea-side park at 2:00am, ration over took hedonistic impulse almost immediately and "no" flowed freely and comfortably out of my lips. The next morning I woke up feeling proud, energized, and above all confident and sexy. Honestly, I can't remember waking up next to somebody in a bed with that exact cocktail of emotions since I lived in Athens. Eventually time and motion will slow down and make room for such ventures but presently I'm quite enjoying focusing my energies in other directions. Let's see what it accomplishes.

Paradise Lost, Found, Lost Again and Renamed.

"Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain! The Great Oz has spoken!" 


What if Dorothy didn't want to get back to Kansas? What's so great about Kansas anyway? Family, o.k. I'll give her that. I was never lucky enough to get randomly transported to that magical land of the weird, colorful, and characters. But I did however find a place in books, movies, and T.V. shows called Australia, ironically enough sometimes called Oz for short. If I had to remember my earliest Oz related memory, it would have to be sitting for as long as I could pouring through the handful of books my primary school library had on the subject. This far off land full of bizarre creatures, extreme weather, tumultuous history, and a map full of places that just make you laugh. I think most people thought I would 'grow out of it'. Contrary, the more I learned, the more I loved this fascinating Terra incognita and it fueled me. Fueled me to appease my family's desire for me to acquire a university education, work and save up to go wander the place to see what I could find, and while it's opened the pathways for me catching the 'travel bug', I feel like I haven't really traveled all that much. It doesn't feel exactly like I'm a visitor here. It seems like a jumping off point. What I've found from my wanders is that the reality of this place is far more emotionally, culturally, ecologically, and spiritually diverse than I could have even dreamed. It cannot be boiled down to a singularity of flora, fauna, place, person or feeling. Its why the cassowary crossed the road, its the pigment splattered transit lines of everywhere people have something to say, its tripping over a 2.5 meter long rock python on the way home from work in the jungle, its a 184000 hectares of sandbar island, its the accidental brush with something called a stinging tree ("sting" my ass it freak'n burns!), and the trillions of other sights and experiences this place is busting at the seems to share with the world. 
This place was overrun with the British Empire's cast-offs and thrill seekers. They took over, called it home, and now think they have the right and responsibility to regulate who can live and work here. As much as I don't want to come to terms with that reality, I also don't want to learn the reality of being inside a jail cell. 

Toiling in the name of love has always been a virtuous path by most culture's standards. While returning to University this early wasn't my original plan....I lost those a ways back...it does hold the most potential for doing what I love where I've always wanted to be.