It's 3:00 AM and this one's personal

It's funny how things never turn out like you thought they would. I came out to the forest for a few months to introspect on a multitude of things as well as get in touch with my inner pioneer women. Over the past few weeks my biggest challenges have stemmed from my new online writing course and dealing with my stir-crazy lonely thoughts. Upon pondering my past, I realized I've never spent this long without any direct contact from established friends and/or immediate family. Maybe I'm just not ready for this much alone time. The ever growing list of projects around the ranch as well as the weekly influx of urban explorers provide some distraction from my personal to-do list. One of the major downfalls of this current winter plan is that I set out to unearth, address, and synthesize solutions to some deep seeded issues yet I'm completely cut off from any kind of known support system. Don't get me wrong, people out here are great. But you just can't open up and talk about certain things with people you've just met. I just keep telling myself that this is the crux and any day now (maybe it has but I can't be sure) things will start making more sense. Only time can tell.

On the plus side, I'm really getting the swing of things here. I have designed a firewood drying system (because none of our wood is as seasoned as it should be as a result of the newness of the ranch). The hydraulic wood splitter, four-wheeler, and propane space heaters are the three main daily luxuries out here and I never take them for granted. The mushrooms are in full bloom (I guess you'd say "fruit"since they're fruiting bodies). Wording aside, they're just darn tasty. Black trumpets are the most plentiful and we have been putting them in all sorts of things from toast toppings to pasta sauce they jazz up any meal. My favorite new wild mushroom dish has to be the matsutake soup one of Art's friend's highly recommended. It is incredibly basic but perfectly enhances the smell and texture of the aromatic myco-treat! 

The last big news coming out of three banana world is POWER! Not like the taking over the world by hostile acquisitions kind, just the kind that keep the lights and internet running all night. After a hefty amount of time, money, and manpower was initially invested, the ranch has the beginnings of a completely revamped sustainable energy system. We might be 40 minutes drive from "the grid"but that doesn't mean we have to live like the Amish. This is the second night, not in a row or else I'd be a zombie, that I've downed some yerba mate at 7pm and stayed up late working on reading, writing, and job hunting. This is a very important luxury in a place where you only get a few hours a sun and relative warmth a day. Its best to try and spend most of the sunny hours doing outdoor projects and activities like dog walking, mushroom picking, garden work, and trail maintenance. A few more productive late nighters and I might have myself a future job, an actual career path, expanded writing/pitching skills, and a few more books read. 

*Things worth mentioning that don't require full paragraphs: 

I'm dying to have an excuse to put on a pretty dress and feel fancy. 

I think I might have found a great way to keep my skin clear and healthy, only it's illegal in some states. 

Everybody loves a one-zy...especially when it's adult sized and leopard print with cats on the feet. Hot. 

The little cat might have a cold or something. She sounds like she's been having some kind of respiratory distress. I can't pet her lately either so I'm not even sure how I'd get it checked out. 

By about 2:15am the hunger really starts to set in. 

Ken, the cheeky country grandpa down the road, got his license to carry a concealed weapon and now has his 9mm Ruger with a lazar sight at all times. This is a good thing because I'll get to shoot even more now! 

Subsequently I've learned that you can split wood with a shot gun and some slugs. It's not the safest or most cost efficient means to the end, but highly entertaining to a testosterone rich local gathering. 

I might have been born a suburban girl but I can pull off a little bit country a little bit rock n roll (with a dash of hip hop).